Disconnected

Been a little quiet on the blogging front, I know.

I seem to be going through a somewhat despondent phase.  I should be grateful for having work, but the monotony is getting to me.

It's also become apparent that I'm not the only one.  Quite a few people I've spoken to are contemplating leaving; one has an interview on Monday (good for him!), another looking at going back to college, and a few are job hunting generally.

It would seem that most of us are bored stupid.  There's just nothing stimulating about the job, no incentives, no training opportunities, lack of opportunities to progress.  The only progression available is to go from cashier to assistant till supervisor, then to till supervisor.  From there it's up to management but those opportunities are even more scarce!

See, this is why I'm frustrated.  I hate getting stuck in these 'deadend' jobs that don't lead anywhere!

Over the past few months a handful of people have left for new jobs, and one on maternity leave.  None of these people have been replaced.  So whilst the remaining people are grateful for the extra or extended shifts, it's got to the point where 'weekend staff' are non-existent and quite a few people are stuck doing the same weekend shifts every single week, getting a day off after nine or ten days on the trot - typically during the week ... which sucks if, like me, most of your friends work weekdays so you struggle to see them.

The home/work balance is totally off-kilter for so many of us.  I don't understand why we don't get more weekend staff - get more people in employment, and the rest of us wouldn't be so down about never seeming to have any time for friends and family.

All in all, there's a lot of people feeling down at work right now.  Morale is practically on the floor and I hate to say it, but I don't think the manager has even noticed ...
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Rambling thoughts

It's been just over a year since I found work the Shop of Snob (it's the politest name I could come up with, given the moo who runs it).

I can remember the letter I received regarding the Job Seekers Allowance I was claiming at the time.  I hadn't planned to claim long, it was simply a means of having something to pay my parents to keep a roof over my head while I applied for job after job.  Essentially, it informed me that the JSA wasn't going to be paid to me beyond June.  That was quite gut wrenching at the time.  I already had the leaflet delivery job but that wasn't paying anywhere near enough.  Without the JSA I would have to dig into my hard-earned savings which I didn't want to have to touch.

That same day, I went onto a job website and saw the advert for the Shop of Snob vacancy.  I applied in a hurry.  I was desperate for anything.

So desperate in fact, that I forced myself to ignore the rather unpleasant snooty attitude of Nora.  I turned a blind eye to the dirty glass of water she offered me as I'd politely turned down tea having spied the filthy teaspoons.  I tried not to look too closely at the generally lack of cleanliness off the shop floor (which was kept clean and tidy at all times).

Had I actually seen the state of the toilet ... well, perhaps I would have turned the job down, but as I said, I was desperate.

So many people are grabbing the first opportunity to come along because it means having a job and having an income.  People are applying for just about every job going, hoping to get an interview.

Even if the job isn't what they want.

It's a means to an end.  We need money.  Without it, we can't keep a roof over our head or those of our families.  We can't put food on the table or pay the bills without money.

Given the mess of the economy, it's no wonder that people who do find work aren't happy.  I took that job because I needed one, not because I had some calling to work with expensive jewellery.  I wasn't happy there and during my interview my gut feeling was screaming at me that it wasn't a good choice - but it was a choice I didn't have.

A year on, I'm now over four months in a new job.  It's not one I intend to stay in for too long.  I feel very lucky that I have a job that pays just enough to pay my bills and leave me with some that I can have the occasional night out or buy something without panicking over what's left in my account.

But my frantic job searching has calmed down a great deal.  I'm no longer searching for 'anything' that'll do.  It's much more refined and focused.  I know the ideal area I'd like to work but am prepared to look at a wider area that is a reasonable driving distance away.  (Done the long commute before -never again!)  And my chosen field of work is more narrow.  Before I was applying for any kind of office job and some shop work.  Now, it's restricted.

I'm no longer as stressed out.  Sure it is still a worry trying to find full time employment but at least I know what I'm looking for.  I can be more precise and methodical.

I can target potential employers with more direction and purpose.  I've stocked up on envelopes and stamps to write to some directly should my latest application fail.

I have some hopes but not letting them get too high.  The job is in a perfect location, but they naturally would prefer someone with experience.  Yet a trainee would be considered, so I'm hoping that even if I don't get an interview, that they may consider me should another position arise.

Here's to positive thinking.  If nothing else, it keeps your spirits up!
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Occam's Razor

There are times when I question the level of intelligence of the people in my local area.

Picture the scene:  you are approaching a large shop.  You can see the following things.

• To one side of the building, all of the staff are assembled a fair distance away, a few in fluorescent jackets, one of whom is calling names and ticking them off a list.
• To the other side of the building, a group of 'normal' people, all waiting a fair distance away too. 
• Looking through the massive ground to ceiling windows, you can see that the building is deserted; trolleys and goods are lying abandoned at the tills and in the aisles. Essentially, it looks as if everyone just walked out suddenly, leaving everything behind. 
• The air is filled with a VERY LOUD NOISE.  A noise which is bloody hard to miss or even ignore.

Anyone with an IQ in double figures should be able to hazard a guess as to what this might mean.

Yet, more than a few gormless individuals still managed to walk, apparently blinkered and with cotton wool stuffed in their ears, to the front doors and pull up short, faces screwed up in confusion at the failure of the front doors to slide open for them. 

One or two even retreat and try again.

They turn.  They stare about the immediate vicinity, puzzling over everything they have just walked towards and straight past.

They approach the members of staff and proceed to question why they can't get inside.  Why aren't the staff inside??

Now, I can forgive someone who is deaf or extremely hard of hearing not to have heard the alarm, but even then, unless you're registered blind as well, then how exactly can you look upon this scene and not come to the most obvious answer.  It's Occam's Razor.  Seriously, you don't need to over think this.

So if you are genuinely unable to grasp this very simple premise by what you see before and actually need to ask someone to clarify what the problem is, then you shouldn't be allowed out on your own.  You are a danger to yourself.

I doubt even seeing this would have helped some people!

It turned out to be a false alarm, thankfully.  Though I was appalled to hear that a few customers refused to leave, demanding that the staff remain inside the building to serve them when the fire alarm went off!!  How absurd!!  Senior staff had to waste time actually explaining to them that it was the fire alarm, there was potentially a fire in the building and we HAD to leave the building immediately - such idiots!
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Watching their weight

It's lunch time.  Two women come to my till.

I think it would be fair to say that both these women are quite firmly on the large size of overweight.  They waddle over (not exaggerating, it was a slow laborious waddle for the pair of them) and dump on the counter what is indisputably their lunch:

Multiple chocolate bars.  Six packet of crisps.  Four assorted bottles of fizzy drinks.  Sausage rolls, pork pies and two or three other prepacked meats and cheese snacks ....

And a Weight Watchers sandwich.

*face-palm*
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I don't mean to be rude, but one healthy sandwich amongst the crap isn't going help you!

Kids = expensive?

A woman came to my till with two children in tow.  Amongst her shopping there were two toys.  Not little trinket toys but large ones. Not cheap to buy on a whim.

I hardly had time to scan the barcodes before the little darlings snatch them both off the counter, rush away and start tearing in the boxes.

The woman heaves a dramatic sigh.

"Oh, children are so expensive!  They want so much!"

Forgive me, but surely they recieved toys in the not too distant past?  It has been maybe two months since Christmas?  What happened to those toys?

Perhaps if some parents learnt to say no then raising their offspring wouldn't be quite as expensive as they make it out to be.

We all know what happened to this spoilt little brat because her parents never said 'no'!

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What's easier to spend with?

Bit of a conundrum here.

As part of my role as a cashier, I offer cashback to the customers.  Essentically, I'm a cash machine with a human face.

What puzzles me is that at least once a day after posing this question I am given this typical answer: "Oh no, I'd better not, I'll only spend it!!"

Firstly, I have to question their self control.  Is it literally a case of putting a £20 note in their hand and they'll simply rush to the nearest shop because they have an uncontrollable urge to spend it?

I had some cash on me!  So I spent it!!

How is it easier to spend using cash than it is a credit or debit card?

Surely, with a card it's easier to spend and (by default) lose track of what you're spending?

I recently went to a museum exhibition and purchased a book.  It was an impulse purchase but it is on a subject I'm very keen on, so I felt it worth the money.  Not having any cash in my wallet, I used my card.

Then I went into a shop that was due to close down in a few days time.  Again, I made a purchase using my card, this time on a dvd that I had had my eye on for a while.  I know I may have been able to get it online cheaper but it was there in front of me and I had my debit card.

That was £20 spent in one afternoon without meaning to.

I like having cash in my wallet.  It actually works to curb my spending because I can see how much money I have.

If I go out with £50 in my wallet, I will look at it and be reminded that this is how much I have to see me through the month, I can not waste it.  Having it physically there helps restrict unnessecary purchases.  Had I had cash in my wallet when I went to the museum I may have hesitated on buying the book.  If I'd had enough I probably still would have got it, but then I most likely would not have got the dvd as well.  I would have looked online to get it cheaper. (Annoyingly so, I could have got it for just under £7 on Amazon with free delivery - yes, I kicked myself.)

Having made one unexpected purchase, I would have looked at the reduced amount in my wallet and put up a mental block on any more purchases.  I do not aim to spend everything that is in my wallet, I aim to keep it in there for as long as I can.

So why do some people feel that by having cash in their hands they ought to get rid of it?   Don't they feel anything when all the money is gone?   How is it easier for them to spend hard cash than with a card that is constantly there in your wallet, with no clear indicater as to how much money is available on the card?

Do you know how much is in your account before you hand your card over?

Is the mentality "Oh I have some money!  I can buy this nice thing!  Oh, I've wanted that for a while, I have the money on me so I can get it!" ?

Amongst the replies I get to my enquiry are comments such as "Oh I'll only spend it on rubbish", "It'll be gone before I leave town!", "Better not, I can't afford to buy anything else today!"

Honestly, where is the self control?   Whenever I've mentioned that I am the complete opposite, I get a mix of admiring looks and mild sceptism.  "Really? Wow, you're really good, aren't you?" , "Oh I don't know how you can do that."

It's really quite easy.  I know I have very limited funds. I prefer to use cash whenever possible because it's too easy for me to lose track of what I've spent if I just hand my card over all the time.  I use my card when I fill my car up (typically paying at the pump so I don't go inside and get tempted with anything they sell inside) or when purchasing something online.

I have an envelope of cash on my bedside table containing nearly £150 pounds, acumalated from Christmas and birthday gifts, all of which is earmarked for my new glasses.  It has been there, untouched, for a month and a half whilst I have been looking for frames I like (and getting quotes on lenses).  I did not recieve the cash and sprint to the shops to spend it all in a day, which is something I've overheard a lady say she'd done:

"I got, like, £200 for Christmas?  Now I'm, like, broke?  Dunno what I spent it on!!"

I'm busy scanning her overpriced shampoo and mentally shaking my head as it was only the first week of January.  How can you not know where a few hundred pounds has gone?  The odd fiver perhaps but that much money surely doesn't vanish without trace.

Does this look familar to you?

I am genuinely concerned that I'm in a very tiny minority.  In spite of the economy there are still a lot of people who have not got to grips with looking after their money.

Which tribe are you in, I wonder?
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Renewed efforts

Right, had enough.

I am very grateful to my current employer - taking me on as a Christmas temp, then offering me an extended contract ... but the vague promises of being made permanent and no indication as to how many extra hours I might get as a result ... well, I can't hang around.

Don't get me wrong, it's a nice job.  Much nicer than some of my previous jobs.  But 'nice' doesn't pay the bills.  Location is very convenient, but what good is that if I'm not able to progress?  The hourly rate isn't particularly high and without working Sundays (which is time and a half pay) I'm really not earning much at all.

A permanent offer of employment would be nice.  But ultimately I intend to move on regardless.  I don't want the spend the rest of my working life sat at a till.

I still want to get into dental nursing.  This morning I decided to try an alternative route into the profession.  I come from an administration background, so why not start applying for receptionist roles in dental surgeries?  Gets me into the right working environment for a start!  And it's something I'm already very well qualified to do.

My many applications for trainee dental nurse roles have not so much as yielded a single interview.  Time to change tactics.
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Rude

It amazes me that some people can be rude yet blissfully unaware of it, only to then take offence and accuse you of rudeness.

Example:

Woman with a pram comes to my till - she's talking loudly on her mobile phone, dumps half her stuff on my till and then, tells me that she's going to get something.   Off she goes, leaving all her shopping on the till, strolling down the aisle as if she has all the time in the world.   I have no idea what she's gone to fetch, whether she's going to be a minute or ten.

I lug the rest of her shopping out of the basket, put the basket in the stack, sit and scan everything through.  She's still not back.  So I start packing her stuff up.  I fill four bags and she's still not back.  Nothing more I can do but sit and wait.

Other shoppers come up to the till - I politely inform them that someone has gone to fetch something and should be back in a minute (I hope!).  A queue forms.

Finally, the woman comes back.  She sees the queue and just stands at the end of the aisle.  I catch her eye and gesture for her to come down.  She just looks at the queue and says 'Can't,' shrugging and stays put.

How about a simple 'Excuse me, please' to the people in front of you?  They have no objection to moving aside for you and standing at the end of the queue isn't exactly helping anyone.  You're the one holding up everybody else.

So I raise my voice a little to make sure everyone hears and asks them all if they could step aside to let her through with the pram.  Naturally, everyone does so.

Woman reaches the till, dumps her stuff and snaps at me, 'You didn't have to roll your eyes!!'

Pardon?

I most certainly did not roll my eyes.  Granted I may have looked a little exasperated at her inconsiderate (lack of) action, but I would not be so rude as to roll my eyes at someone.

She continues to mutter darkly about me rolling my eyes, not a word of thanks for having got the rest of her shopping sorted out ready to go for her - nope, not a peep.  I did say to her that she could have said 'excuse me' to the people in line and they would have let her through, but no, that's apparently out of line too.

I scan the new items she's been fetching (she must have wandered around the whole shop for them, none of them were displayed anywhere near each other), she throws them into the bags, snatches her change out of my hand (scratching me with her nails) and stomps off, moaning 'I'm going to talk to your manager!!!'

Fine, you do that.

It's just plain rude to leave half your stuff at the till and wander off to get the rest.  Get all your shopping BEFORE you come to the till, or else pay for what you've got, then go back.  That way you are not going to hold up a queue and effectively block a till.   Further more, the words 'excuse me please' are very simply and easy to pronounce.  They do wonders for allowing you to move to where you need to be.  Most people are not offended by good manners.

Neither the manager or any of the supervisors said anything to me about.  It's water off a ducks back when you complain about imagined rudeness to be frank.  They've known me for a few months now, they know very well how polite I am and would never roll my eyes at someone in the manner you made out - yes, I overheard you embellishing your complaint, I was within earshot.  I also know by the managers face that he doesn't believe you.

Oh, and she left one her bags behind.  With any luck it'll be really inconvenient for her to come back to get it.
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Still no real answer

I finally managed to collar the manager today and ask outright whether or not I was being kept on.  Considering, as previously mentioned, I do have shifts throughout February, surely I should have been informed of what the situation is?

Alas, I still have not been offered a permanent position.  It's an extension but with no clear end.  They still need me around, thus I'm still here, but there is no security as yet.  I can't allow myself to get complacent of course and I am continuing to look for other work - it just would be such a relief not to have the nagging worry in the back of my mind that I'm still not in permanent employment.

I had been hopeful of a more positive answer but that's the situation as it stands.
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Seriously?

Sometimes I despair at the lack of intelligence in some people.

A group of women come to my till and as I'm scanning one lot through, the next woman in line is whinging about a bottle of conditioner she's picked up.  She's at the end of my till and complaining that it won't stand upright.

"Look!  It don't stand up!" she screeches to her friends (not to me).  "Look!!"

She sets it on the counter, lets go of it and it falls over - thud.  She snatches it up, sets it up, lets go, thud.  She repeats this several times quite rapidly. Thud - thud - thud - thud.  All the time bemoaning "It's no good ain't it!?  What goods dat?  It'd fall over in me shower!  No good is it?  No good!"

I finish with the woman ahead of her and reach for her shopping.

I pick up the bottle of conditioner, scan it and set it back down on the counter.

It stands upright and stays there.

May have something to do with my putting it the right way up i.e. the flat end and not the rounded top end.

The woman snatches it off the counter and throws it into her shopping bag without even noticing the difference.
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Am I missing something?

For someone who doesn't know whether she has a job after the end of January, I sure do have a number of shifts for February down on the rota ...

Either the manager hasn't had a chance to say anything (possible given he's just got back from holiday) or someone has made a mistake and just included me in the rota, unaware that I've not been informed of anything official.

I guess as long as I'm down on the rota and no one says otherwise I can just keep turning up!!  ^_^

Seriously though, if I see the manager in the next few days I'll have to try and ask about it.  I'd much rather know for certain than just assume it's all fine and dandy.  For all I know it could just be another extension, instead of a permanent contract.
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Oooo

I heard some good news today.  Well, it's sad in one respect.

A member of staff is leaving.  She's moving to be with family and transferring to another branch.  So it's wonderful news for her although I'm sorry to see her leave as we seemed to get on quite well.  I know we've not worked together very long but she was always there in a flash if I needed to know something or fetch me something I was missing from my till.

She's happy to be going but no doubt will be sad to leave us as she's been here ever since this branch opened!   Naturally I wish her all the best and hope she enjoys her last two weeks with us.

Now, my ears didn't half prick up when she told me she was leaving, especially when she's leaving before the end of the month.

I'm still only contracted until the end of January.  So this is welcome news for me as it might lead to me staying on, or at least another extension.   She's leaving, someone retired just as I arrived, and I've noticed a young lady who is undeniably pregnant who will no doubt be leaving shortly.

Of course, I was told a while ago about two women coming back from maternity leave but I've heard no more about them.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that when the manager returns from holiday that he'll be able to have a look at things and let me know one way or the other.

Will be quite upset if I don't get offered a longer contract, I've come to quite like it here.  As always, fingers crossed.
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Discount Card

Hooray!  I finally have my staff discount card!  ^_^

I was meant to have received one about two weeks prior to Christmas so I was a bit concerned when it didn't materialise.  Since I'd been told I was being kept on for January I didn't push the issue and was assured it would get sorted.  Admittedly I did have to chase it up several times but never mind, I have it now.

It's 13% off which isn't bad at all.

At the dreaded Shop with Nora, I was granted a very generous 30% staff discount.  Seriously though, what good is a discount on jewellery?  It's a luxury item, not an essential.  My income was meagre enough without splashing out on pretty baubles when they're not even needed!

Thus my first purchase with my discount card consisted of:

1. Toothbrushes - pack of 2, my current brush needs replacing
2. Shampoo - just ran out
3. Cleanser - ran out a week ago and wanted one for under a pound
4. Pick n Mix cherries - little present for my boyfriend who adores these (so one non-essentials)

Total spend - just under a fiver.  Thank you very much.

Now need a new umbrella - my current one is becoming pretty manky!  And a new hairbrush as mine is starting to fall to bits.

I only replace once something is used up, broken or else no longer in a suitable condition for its use.
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Are things improving?

It's been a few years since the "Crunch" began.  I was still employed full time in an office - hating it and had been looking to leave for a while.  I'd always peruse the local newspaper for jobs just to keep an eye on what was around.  Typically there would be around four pages worth, including the same adverts for cleaners week in week out.

The Crunch hit and all those adverts pretty much vanished.  Whether they were simply withdrawn or people suddenly losing their jobs snapped up whatever was available, it's hard to know for sure.  But for the first year at least there were practically no jobs advertised in my local paper, maybe an eighth of a page with three or four offerings.

In the past year, I have noticed a distinct increase.  Not necessarily every week, but most weeks there is at least a page of job adverts, often two.

Same with job websites.  The one I frequent most used to maybe only have a dozen at the very most each day (and that was within a 15 mile radius of my home) yet more recently there are in the region of 150 job adverts going up every weekday.

Lets face it, the recession / crunch / bad economic situation we're in is not going to last forever. I think this is a sign that things are gradually getting better.  Some companies are doing really well and expanding, and as always there will be retirements, people moving away (and even the sad event of deaths) and it's not feasible not to replace them.  We keep hearing in the news about companies closing and the number of job loses but there are jobs springing up more and more, certainly in my area.

Granted, there are still many individuals applying for these jobs, making it hard to even reach the interview stage, but as more jobs become available and get filled, the number of applicants per job should in theory decrease over time.

Even just looking at the jobs that have been advertised today - a number of apprentice positions (ideal for teenagers no doubt), receptionist, bar staff, bookkeeper, childcare assistant, bricklayer, drivers, electrician, car sales, kitchen assistant, market research, project manager, registered nurse, shop assistant, chef, security guard, warehouse assistant, telemarketing - and that's just a quick browse of titles!  There's all sorts of work becoming available in my region so I'm taking this a positive sign that things are improving.

I know we'd all like our dream job but anyone looking to take whatever is available in order to keep a roof over their head and food on the table, then I'm seeing a lot more options out there for them.

I'm still no wiser as to whether my current job is going to continue beyond the next three weeks, but if it doesn't, then I too am finding cause for optimism at the increase in opportunities.
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Do you take plastic?

I had the most adorable little boy come to my till on Saturday.

His parents came up with their shopping, I scanned it all through and just as I told them the total amount to pay their little boy (maybe about five or six years old) comes up to me and holds out his clenched fist.

I hold my own hand out, and into my palm he drops a few plastic toy coins.

"I pay," he chirps. 

With a little smile, he then walks off to sit by the windows.

So adorable!!  My mouth dropped open in a huge smile.  Most children I see are just poised like vipers about to strike and snatch their sweets out of my hand almost before I've finished scanning them!

The parents looked pleasantly surprised and I sneeked the plastic coins back to them without their son noticing.  It's such a pleasure when I see the beautifully behaved children helping with the shopping but this is the first one to pay for the shopping with his own money.

He can come by my till any day of the week.
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New Year

2012 is officially under way.  Once more I'm in a position of not knowing whether my employment will continue beyond the end of the month.

Luckily the manager is pretty on the ball and I do trust that he'll give an answer as soon as he is able to provide me with one.  Doesn't make it any less of a concern however.

Whilst I don't have any plans to stay at this shop forever more, just having the security of permanent employment would be a weight off my mind.  I knew this was a risk but it was a calculated one nonetheless.  Part of my continued employment does depend on how busy the business is - I overheard one of the supervisors say that on Monday we took about 18k when we'd usually take 10k on a bank holiday - that's great news, people are obviously out the bargains.  Today, in comparison, was pretty quiet.  The weather is awful which no doubt has kept some people away, but that doesn't stop that nagging feeling of 'what if the manager can't justify keeping another cashier when it's not very busy?'

I can't assume I'll still have job at the end of January, so I'm still looking for other work - focusing on my chosen career.  I don't want to keep going from job to job with the intention of leaving for something else.  I'm getting ever closer to thirty (and it's scary how fast time seems to go by) and I feel annoyed with myself that I'm not in a good career with prospects.  Or at least have a job that I love and pays enough to support myself.

What a way to start the year - full of job worries once more.  Still, I know there's plenty of others in the same boat - I'm lucky to at least have some guaranteed work for the month.
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Past

There's been a rather pleasant result for working where I am.  Given that I'm sat on the tills I naturally see a lot of people go by but it's quite nice when the people are individuals you've not seen in years!

In the past fortnight alone, I've been surprised by and chatted to:

1. Both my managers from my two previous office jobs; one happily retired, the other about to.
2. A young student I used to teach at my sports club.
3. A girl I knew in middle school who recognised me, although I couldn't place who she was (clearly she'd changed a lot ... apparently I haven't) I did recognise her name.
4. The guy who ran my school's youth club.
5. A friend who used to run a local shop where I'd hang out on my lunch breaks when I was still employed in a local office - we're now back in touch after nearly two years (his shop closed and I switched jobs).
6. A girl from my last office job who transferred to another department.
7. Another girl I worked with for six months in a coffee shop years ago.

Those have been the nice surprises.

Yet, there was one that left quite a bitter taste in my mouth.

An elderly woman came to my till and I immediately twigged that I knew her, she looked strangely familiar and I was wracking my memory trying to place her - she didn't appear to know who I was.  Then it suddenly clicked - this was the mother of a girl I went to school with.  My gaze snapped to the young woman standing with her - sure enough, it was Sarah*. 

But in spite of being my 'best friend' for three years, she didn't acknowledge me.  We looked at each other, no doubt that she recognised me, I could see it in her eyes (come on, if someone I hardly knew from middle school recognised me, then my 'best friend' surely must) ... but she moved on without a word as if I were a stranger.

Rewinding several years (oh god, more than a decade now ... I feel old!) Sarah and I met up in our second year of Secondary school - I was very quiet and shy, she was more confident and talkative.  I latched onto her friendship as I'd been bullied an awful lot thus I found it comforting that this girl was eager for my friendship.  Looking back I realise now that no one else could put up with her constant chat.  And chat she did.  Mostly about herself and what she was doing / planning / had seen on TV etc.  Sometimes when we spoke on the phone, I genuinely could have put it down, gone away for five minutes and come back without her even noticing that I'd not been listening - that may sound a bit mean, but I did not realise at the time just how little I actually got to speak.  

Anyway, we took our GCSE's and Sarah decided to stay at the school to do her A Levels, whilst I opted to go to the local collage (I wanted to get away from the kids that had continued to bully me).   It was from that summer onwards that I was left making all the effort in our friendship - I was the one who emailed, phoned and texted, trying to arrange for us to hang out or just to talk - yet Sarah was suddenly too busy or already had plans.   The one time I did manage to arrange for us to meet up, we met up by the cinema, only for Sarah to bring along another girl whom I'd never met and the two of them talked non-stop, hardly saying two words to me before simply getting up and leaving me behind.

I was quite crushed by this.  I do appreciate now that we didn't have much of a friendship in the first place but at the time I was so upset by Sarah doing this to 'us'.   As the years went by, occasionally we'd bump into each other in town - Sarah's opening question to me would be 'Do you have a boyfriend?' - if the answer was no, cue Sarah's non-stop talk about her wonderful boyfriend and her fantastic life.  If the answer was yes, Sarah's face would light up and she'd squeal about double-dating and that she simply must meet him!  Yeah, sure.  I'm of no interest whilst single but the moment I get a boyfriend she wants to hang out?

All these years since I've pondered whether or not to try and get back in touch.  I'd had a cursory look on Facebook, but couldn't find her.  I did wonder if she'd married and changed her name perhaps.  Would she have matured at all?  Perhaps we'd be able to resurrect our friendship and be actual friends rather than just a speaker and a listener.

This chance encounter, however, has just proved to me once and for all that Sarah is not interested and not worth my time.  She looked me in the eye, knew exactly who I was and didn't say a word - leaving me too surprised to say a word to her as she walked away.  Puts to rest any thoughts of rekindling a friendship I've had for years.  It's quite sad when friends lose touch or a friendship fizzles out, although I've had doubts as to how much of a friendship we really had.

Lesson learnt - real friends will treat you as such.  Hang onto the good ones and don't concern yourself with the ones that aren't.


* Not her real name, as always I don't like to use people's real names here.
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Christmas Eve

Well, I can certainly say that it's quite a blessing to know that I still have a job to go to next week.  I overheard someone today saying that Christian was the only temp not to be kept on.

Quite how long each of us is being kept on for, I do not know.  I'm the only one on the tills, the other two are evening-shift / shelf stackers, so I've not actually seen them since our induction.

I feel some sympathy for Christian - no work guaranteed for after Christmas, the uncertaincy of whether he'll be able to find something soon ... but at the same time I just don't feel that he applied himself to the job he had.  He was late for the training day and, he confessed to me the other day, he'd come into work with a hangover!  Call me crazy, but those are things you do not do if you want to stay in the job. Christian doesn't think anyone noticed but the supervisors are a sharp bunch.  I'll be really surprised if no one picked up on it.  Perhaps he didn't even like the work and wanted to find something else afterwards, but that grates painfully against my person view that you ought to do the best you can, even if you don't like the job or intend to stick it out.  Look at me at the Shop!  I grew to loathe it yet it didn't stop me making an effort and trying to do a good job even on my final day.

Thus, I'm in two minds about saying goodbye to Christian yesterday.  He was a nice guy - just perhaps not appreciative of the job he had (a notion that baffles me).  I do wish him all the best, that he succeeds in finding employment elsewhere in a role he enjoys and wants to work hard at.

I'm so grateful to still be employed.  I took a risk leaving the Shop, which has paid off so far.  I may only be guaranteed until the end of January but there are encouraging hints from senior that it may become permanant.  Even if it doesn't, it's an enjoyable, less stressful job than I've had in years - for that I am grateful.

Merry Christmas!
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Chosen

I am officially employed until the end of January!  ^_^  I'm being kept on, Christian is not.

I believe that one of the evening temps is being offered an extension as well so well done both of us.

Very pleased - I celebrated with huge chocolate cookies and a nice cup of tea.

I feel like I may be able to justify the cost of new glasses now ...
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Lingering

Well, I'm very glad I didn't phone in sick with a cold - primarily because several other members of staff had come down with colds but were in work all the same.

I was drugged up to the eyeballs with medication and going through a pack of tissues almost every hour but I got through the week without too much of a problem.  The medication I was using (the company's own brand as it happens) was very effective.  I only had one night of struggling to breathe and therefore sleep, the next night wasn't as bad, thus I continued to be rested enough to keep working.

A week on and the worst of my cold is gone - just left with a lingering cough and an intermittently drippy nose.  Methinks I shall try another flu tablet or two to see if that helps to shift it for good.

Improved health aside, I received some encouraging words from the manager today.

Essentially, I was asked if, were a job to be available after Christmas, would I accept it?   I actually said 'yes please' before he'd even finished the question!   I think he likes my keenness!

It's a shame that he can not confirm just yet whether a job will be available.  In the first instance, it's likely to be an extension of my existing contract, probably until the end of January.  In spite of someone retiring a few weeks ago, there is the fact that two members of staff are due to return from maternity leave.  So that leaves the manager in a position where he has to look into whether these women are actually intending to return in the first instance, what days / hours they could work etc as no doubt they'll want to work around their childcare arrangements.

That's all fine by me.  At the moment all the manager can do is to ask Christian and myself whether we'd accept an offer.  As he said, there's no point in offering a job to someone who doesn't want it or perhaps has made other arrangements for work.  So there's a definite yes from me and I presume a probable yes from Christian.

I still believe that I'm the front runner but it's just too early to get my hopes up.  Manager says he hopes to give us both a definite answer in a week or so.

I look forward to it.
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